A startup is charging couples to screen embryos for IQ and “the other naughty traits that everybody wants.” Initially, I just wrote WHAT in my little running Things To Ponder doc and was going to leave it at that but alas, I was wholly unable.

you can officially buy designer embryos

To catch you up quickly, The Guardian did some stellar reporting and exposed, through undercover video footage, a wayward child of the startup world known as Heliospect. 

The US-based firm is using UK taxpayer-funded genetic data to help wealthy Americans cherry-pick ‘superior’ embryos.

Uh-huh. 

Why the convolution, you may ask? Well, screening embryos for predicted IQ is illegal in the UK. But it’s allowed in the US — where it’s not commercially available. 

So Heliospect somehow gained access to UK Biobank data and built a little prediction tool. Using it to screen (American!) embryos, the startup claims to produce a gain of more than six IQ points. Or a kid without acne, depending on ‘personal preferences.’ 

The accuracy of all this is scientifically dubious but still begs the question: beyond disease prevention, is it moral to select embryos based on specific traits? 

And assuming this all works: if people are allowed to essentially buy themselves smarter, healthier, more beautiful offspring, what’s the inequality gap chasm going to look like in 50+ years?

To be clear, no one is genetically editing embryos before implantation here. That’s still illegal in most countries. They’re just playing with naturally occurring genetic variations. Which, I mean, sounds okay, right? 

In theory, yes. But think of it this way: If you select an embryo with the highest IQ potential, who’s to say what other, less desirable traits they’ll also have? Not you, that’s for sure. 

So if your child grows up, for example, to have severe behavioral issues (or really anything troubling), you’ll likely be trying desperately to push the thought from your mind that you may have unwittingly selected for this. All in your (admiral, of course) crusade to raise the next world genius.

Heliospect, unsurprisingly, does not address this. Here’s a little snippet from one of their senior staff members, a philosopher named  — and you really can’t make this up — Jonathan Anomaly.¹  

We shall certainly see in 18+ years if prospects were truly improved. There’s also the slight issue of Heliospect’s company vision.

Because their CEO, Michael Christensen, has been caught boasting, in words that make my eyes itch, about a future in which “lab-grown eggs” would allow people to create embryos on “an industrial scale²,” “even a million,” and then handpick an “elite selection” for implantation.

As a biologist (who majored in genetics) I am not overly surprised to see humans have reached this point. We’ve done exploitative selective breeding with crops and livestock for years. It was only a matter of time before we started seriously fiddling with our own species’ embryo selection.

But the Heliospect story isn’t done. Indulge me further and let us read this small paragraph together: 

Reader, these are narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Let’s hope he was referring to screening out these traits because that wasn’t as abundantly clear as one would like. 

Anyway, to bring us back to earth: we’re a long way from pinning down the links between genetics and personality. Plus there’s that whole very valid, very important nature vs nurture debate. People may pay $50k for their superior embryo, but it could mean diddly squat thanks to the environment they plop it into.

Still, Heliospect has managed, through questionable yet successful means, to access the data needed to offer this service. The demand is clearly there, and people don’t seem to care whether the claims are accurate.

I can just hear half of Connecticut muttering damn it Parker we need to scoop some more of them eggs out, babe. 

A door has been opened that’s unlikely to ever close. At least Icarus was heading towards the sun.

Tidbits

📿 First up, some… wellness news. Russel Brand (no further comments) has released an amulet designed to protect us all from wicked Wifi signals and “other evil energies.” Selling for the low, low price of $239.99. 

This is my favorite take on it yet. Go forth and cackle. But also, mourn the slimy convergence of the wellness and conspiracy industries, yet again (see also: Gwyneth). 

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Tribal tech, previously a band, now refers to technology one may use to find their tribe. You know, the people you just ‘click’ with.

In a nutshell, analysts say the entertainment and sports industries’ knack for bringing together complete strangers at scale, and socially connecting them through shared experiences, can be accelerated by disruptive technology. For the social good of all. 

They’re calling it tribal tech. And I think they’re onto something. 

¹ An anomaly, in biology, is a marked deviation from the normal standard, especially as a result of congenital defects. Hehehe.

² As it stands, Heliospect’s services are priced at “up to $50k for 100 embryos.” 100. Embryos. This is an obscene number that does not make sense. 

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