🤑 Tucson’s new $20k longevity retreat

Welcome to Oh look another health trend! This newsletter is an unfiltered, nerdy analysis of stuff that’s happening in the health startup world. 

Wanna spend four days getting DEXA scans, cancer screenings, and having every inch of your body poked at by doctors? Probably not. 

How about in a bougie resort with a private chef and a bunch of other rich dudes? Maybe. 

That’s what Canyon Ranch is betting on, anyway. 

They’ve just launched LONGEVITY8™, a four-day, five-star, wellness experience. For the price investment (sorry!) of $20k, you can enjoy:

• Almost all the medical diagnostic tests your heart desires

• 18 (!) one-on-one physician consultations (just in case you thought it would be a vacay)

• Access to their luxurious spa (to help you recover from the above)

I know we’re all for proactive, not just reactive, health care. But are these insanely expensive diagnostic tests even effective?

Some are. For example, DEXA scans and certain blood biomarkers can catch early signs of disease. 

But many preventative tests are just an expensive way to satiate your curiosity. Or give you one hell of a false health scare. 

So you could essentially be paying $20k to sit in a fancy spa and be told your chance of dying from cancer in five years is — gasp — average. What a relief.

Look, we all want to live longer, healthier lives doing the things we love most. 

But scientists and clinicians have already told us what we need to do to get there: Regular exercise, a Mediterranean diet, good sleep, and solid social connections. (I deign to admit that of course the news that one may have to put in a little effort to achieve excellent health is easier to receive from a luxurious plunge pool in Tucson. But is it wholly necessary?)

My bet is LONGEVITY8 (™!!) isn’t going to see the business longevity it craves. I just don’t think there’s a big enough market for these offerings — especially when you can get similar medical diagnostics run in Turkey for $810.

There’s also the bigger issue of regulations, or lack thereof, in the longevity industry. Without standards and guidelines, there is a real risk that some of these clinics could end up not only failing to serve their clients, but potentially harming them. 

That’s not to say I don’t believe in the ‘healthcation’ concept. Taking time off to focus exclusively on your physical and mental health is hugely important. 

But longevity isn’t built over a few days. People can spend a week living their best healthy lives and will still, 9 times out of 10, go back to their everyday reality of takeout, skipping morning gym class, and choosing screens over human connection.

I think the real opportunity here is in helping people implement all the things we know we should already be doing, no matter what our 200+ blood biomarkers tell us. 

Things on my radar this week

🍼 The US Surgeon General issued an advisory stating what every parent already knows: they need more support. Apparently it takes a village, only we aren’t living in villages anymore. Let’s see if policy changes finally follow.

🍄 Zac Efron, Pedro Pascal, and Kevin Hart were some of the investors in Alice Mushroom’s latest seed round to help bring their (non-psychedelic) functional mushroom chocolates to 1000 stores across the states by year-end. Hopefully, their rad branding will help them stand out in the sea of new functional mushroom products. 

🤔 Novak Djokovic has been appointed as the first Global Wellness Advisor for Aman, which runs a bunch of wellness retreats around the world. Interesting, given Djokovic’s questionable opinion on science-backed health and wellness. 

🦠 GMO probiotic startup Zbiotics completed an oversubscribed $12M Series A round for their ‘probiotic drink that breaks down the byproduct of alcohol responsible for rough mornings after drinking.’ (Just when you thought every startup was fully on the sober-curious wagon.) 

Thank you for reading! If you find yourself frequently enjoying these essays, and you’re inclined to click the little heart on a post, please do. It apparently makes a big difference for the ~algorithm~.